As a college admissions consultant, I spend most of my time helping high school seniors tell their best stories. In this book, I tell mine. I don't always appear at my best, but then again, I'm not trying to get into college; instead, I respond to college application essay prompts as honestly as I can. In my somewhat biased opinion, it's a funny, sad, cantankerous, and thought-provoking meditation on ambition, the American dream, college admissions, developmental delays, difficult parents, obstinate children, and why everyone should read more. (Topics are in alphabetical order, not in the order they appear in the book.)